Friday, March 20, 2009

Some days are diamonds....and some days just stink...

This has been a hard week.  I always contend that my glass is half full, but there are days that feel like there's a crack and the glass is leaking.  Commuting lately has been especially frustrating and often dictates the tone for my day.  I have to make a serious effort to overcome it so that it doesn't affect my attitude when I'm teaching.  Most evenings when I arrive home safely, I just feel like going to bed or vegging out in front of the TV.  This isn't good because that is leading to "pillow spread."  I lost the pillow spread riding horse last semester, but it's creeping back.  I have to take some serious steps to stop it if I think I'm going to go home and ride the 250 miles of the Shore to Shore on Malik this summer!!!  I did go swimming one day this week...the water was quite cold and Nelson refused to go with me.  So, perhaps I will start forcing myself to walk every evening.  Something....walking around campus and taking the stairs and parking away from my office isn't enough.  

Homesickness has also been a bit of a problem this week.....it comes and goes sometimes, especially when I'm stressed.  My major stress this week (and for the last few) has been one of my classes.  They are a huge challenge and I'm not sure why last semester and this semester both have given me ONE class that stresses me so much.  Some of the girls treat me little better than they do their Filipina maids.  I can't seem to find the "sweet spot" between being overly strict and relaxed... I have a few girls who are anxious to learn every single thing I try to impart to them.  And then there are some that just can't stop themselves from talking, talking, talking.  I am usually good-natured most of the time, but some of these students bring out the beast in me.  I feel very protective of the students who are trying to learn from me and am going to have to take a very hard nosed line from now on, even if it means removing students from my class.  It's not fair to the students who are making an effort to learn if I allow the disruption and chaos that comes from a few.  I hate that part....being a hard nose.  But, it's become necessary....no more moving students and no more verbal warnings.  
 
And yet, when days seem so dark that I just feel like I'm going to cry, God sends a ray of light and hope:  yesterday, after a depressing drive to work and too many dark thoughts and feelings of homesickness, as I walked across from my office to the main building, I heard someone yelling my name over and over, "Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.....," probably a dozen times.  And flying across from the food court, as fast as his little legs could carry him, is little Sodju (2 years old) who lives across the hall from me and has taken a liking to me for some reason.  He ran straight across and through the flower beds to me.  He isn't terribly cuddly, but I picked him up and hugged him anyway!  It was balm for the soul to have someone so excited to see me.  He had come to campus with his mom to see Cultural Village this week.  And, to lift my spirits!  Later in the day, I saw a small group of my students from last semester, the group that had been so challenging for me then.  They were delighted to see me, proclaiming how much they love and miss me.  I made it through with them and seeing them again made me think that I'll make it through with the students I have this semester, too.  

So, today, I will lesson plan a little bit and psych myself up for next week, go walking, maybe even a swim (I like to use the pool for stretching exercises), maybe take a little drive outside of Doha with Nelson.  Tomorrow we are scheduled for a trip to the beach for fishing with a QU friend/colleague.  I plan to take a beach chair and a book.  It'll be GREAT!

In the meantime, keep the notes coming....I love hearing from friends and family wherever you may be.  And phone calls are welcome, too.  Don't forget that the 517 VOIP number is an NOT international call.  A friendly hello goes a long way toward making my day!!  Happy Spring/Equinox!!!