Living forward and living a good story

"Most people like to own things: land, luggage, other people. Makes 'em feel secure, but all that can be taken away. In the end, the only thing ya really own is your story...just tryin' to live a good one."---Drover from the movie "Australia"

This last month has been rough for us here in Qatar. First we went through the "adjustment" to the weather here, the time change both mentally and physically, and simply switching routines entirely, not to mention missing the kids and grand kids. It's like going "cold turkey," as they say! To top it all off, my brother died at the age of 68 and Nelson's mom died (a week later) at the ripe old age of 84. Both had suffered a long time with debilitating illness. Nevertheless, it was still a hard blow, losing them so close together and being so far away. We did not go home...we went to see them when they were living and that is what was important to us. We can offer our families our love and support from afar. But it was still depressing, in spite of the fact that we are usually upbeat and happy people.

While death and dying are a part of life, what goes on are the lives of the living, who must make what they must of what is left of the person who dies, their body, their possessions, their money, their legacy....what they don't realize is how closely their "stories" are tied to the story of the one lost. Hopefully, what that person has left is a good story, and the desire of the survivors to live a good story as well. You can't take it with you, can you? In any case, I want to say bravo to those who respect the wishes of the dead and shame on you to those who don't. I plan to spend my children's inheritance before they can AND may very well leave the rest to charity! :) Nuff said!

What does all this have to do with anything? It has to do with leaving your story, leaving your mark on the world, writing your own epitaph. I do wonder what my epitaph might say someday and keep in mind, someday can come tomorrow, next week, next year, or in another 50 years. Today, my students read about people who live in the mountain ranges near Iran who NORMALLY live to be well over 100. We talked about how old we want to live if we can be healthy and take care of ourselves. Some of my students reported having living relatives up to 110 years old! However, they all seemed to recognize that today's society and habits are changing and that the future for healthy longevity is not good. No matter. I want to live a good story. My life isn't about getting what I want, but wanting what I have. If some other good things come about for me, wonderful. If not, who am I to discount the blessings in my life? Tonight a friend from Qatar posted this on Facebook: "Maggie and Nelson are one of the coolest couples you could ever meet." How did we become this couple? We aren't hip, we don't dance (though I had a good time rocking out to a lot of my favorite songs on the radio today...is that still a useable term? Rocking out?), and we don't do anything to try and be cool. We just are who we are. Nelson is passionate about horses and horseshoeing, our family, photography and me. :) I am passionate about teaching and reading, our family, horseback riding, and Nelson. We haven't had the best of luck with our health, but sometimes we have to make our own luck....I am going to live to be older than 68. That is one thing I have decided and am very determined about, something positive I can make from my brother's death. The day after he died, I walked out the door at 5 a.m. (because I was still exhausted at 8 p.m., going to bed early, and jetlagged) and thought about my health during a 20 minute walk as I watched the sun rise. I walked back in, sat down at my computer and found yoga exercises on Youtube. Then I spent a few hours that day becoming acquainted with www.sparkpeople.com. I haven't looked back...I've lost 8 pounds, I have more energy, my clothes fit better, I have fewer aches and pains, I am more flexible, and I feel as if I can really do this. Nelson has joined me to some degree, but I cannot force him to do yoga or ride the bike machine. He is eating better and has lost 8 pounds also. I am hoping to set a good example and that the rest will follow. I want him around for a long, long time! We have a LOT left to do in this world. I don't know exactly what it is or where it will be: Qatar, the U.S., somewhere else maybe....we love Egypt. I want to go back to Chile. I want to go back to Jamaica. I want to research reading and service learning. I want to bestow my love of reading to others and my belief that literacy can accomplish many things in this world and solve a lot of the world's ills. So much to do, so little time. Even if I do live to be 100, I don't think I'll be finished!

So, forgive my ramblings tonight...it was an especially wonderful day for me. My blessing included:
*many of my favorite songs on the radio, all rocking out ready
*high energy level
*wearing clothes I have not been able to wear, and throwing out some that don't fit
*lessons that went well in my classes
*excellent students who are truly striving to be the best
*the deep respect and love I feel for my students, every one of them (even the ones who drive me insane!)
*my friends who publicly declare me cool
*my kids who take time to keep me in touch with their lives
*my grandchildren who giggle with delight to see me on Skype and push and shove each other to get my attention so they can read me a book or just show me one
*my husband who stoically does the dishes when I am at work even though he hates it
*a sister with whom I can talk for an hour and never run out of things to say

And that's just a fraction of the blessings I enjoy in my life. Last night I dreamed about my mother (she died in 1998) and she was truly my best friend and was my best example of living a good story. Perhaps it was her presence in my dream that precipitated my marvelous day, but I felt her with me all day and could see her in my mind, smiling and nodding her head at me (she never speaks to me, only smiles and nods, even when I ask her burning questions...apparently she thinks I know the answers). I think maybe she understands and approves. Of course, she was the one who sent me on my first trip to Chile when I was 17 years old! When I later became a parent of teenagers, I wondered what she was thinking! :) Maybe she knew all along where I was going...

Good night all. I have missed my self-imposed curfew of 10 p.m., but since my other blessing today was that I finished my lesson planning for the next two days, I can sleep in a little extra before getting up and heading off to work!! Stay tuned for the next episode!

Maggie